Elided
by Amanda Swiftgold
Summary: Only MOMO can help Ziggy accept the whole of his memories, but can even she keep his terrifying future self from killing his past?
1. One

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Monolithsoft and Namco and whatnot, not me! The story is mine, though. I doubt you'll want to use anything from it, but if you do, please ask first. 

Author's Note: Okay, so I had to write this, but at least it broke my writer's block. Ziggy is an awesome character, but the game kind of neglected him after the rescue sequence on Pleroma. And, as the second game only clarified a few things, well, this still works - though it's really just my speculation and definitely a kind of what-if story. The third one looks promising to tell the whole thing, finally! 

This fic's gonna be short, unlike the rest of my stuff, bwaha. And, something like it's probably been done before - especially in the game itself, not to mention any other game where you physically get into someone's past - but it was the story that stuck in my mind so I am just writing it down anyway. I'm not very concerned about when and why this would occur in the timeline, just sometime after the end of Episode I, and I made up any names that weren't mentioned in the game. If we ever find out what they really are, I'll change them then. Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think! 

Dedicated to TheShoelessOne for inspiring me to just write the thing instead of holding off until I knew the actual story. Rabid Ziggy fans unite, hehe! 

"Elided"  
By Amanda Swiftgold 

_"And I can hear voices calling  
And I can feel weight upon my mind  
You'll hold my hand in your hand  
And after I'm gone you'll still have  
Time to figure out the things  
The things that left me empty inside"  
Ra, "On My Side"_

It was a world, but there was nothing in it. 

MOMO groaned softly, eyelids blinking heavily as she pushed herself up with one arm from where she lay. Her eyes were telling her that the buildings of a large city were surrounding her, skyscrapers piercing upward into the gold and purple of a sunset. There were white-stone bricks beneath her fingers, a small hillock of grass nearby edged with more brick - but none of it seemed real. 

The small Realian shivered, wrapping her arms around herself as she staggered a bit unsteadily to her feet. It was taking some time, but she was slowly getting used to the lack of data arriving to her sensors. After all, this had happened once before, when KOS-MOS' mind had taken her and the others to Old Miltia. _I guess,_ she thought unhappily as she stooped to pick up her fallen Dragon Rod, _this really is Ziggy's Encephalon._

Maybe it had been a bad idea, diving alone like this. But there hadn't been time, and what else could she do? Staring around, MOMO remembered the suddenness of the attack, how Ziggy had automatically moved to shield her from an unexpected explosion. And, when he'd fallen, she'd used her nanomachines to heal his wounds but he wouldn't wake up, his skin as cold as the metal of his body, his mind closed off, refusing to come back. 

And she could tell now that Ziggy didn't want her here, either, staring upward as the tall buildings seemed to close in on her. She couldn't sense any anger; it felt more as if he was gently, but firmly, closing a door to keep her out. 

The girl felt her lip trembling and bit it to make it stop. Why was this happening now? Did it have something to do with the conversation she'd overheard all right, spied upon? Her own mother had called the cyborg on the UMN screen, had spoken obliquely about some kind of reward Ziggy had asked for, said it was now ready for him. She hadn't understood why he seemed unhappy about it, and was too ashamed that she'd spied to ask him what was meant. 

Yet Juli Mizrahi had signed off quickly, pretending she hadn't seen MOMO run into the room to greet her - oh, but it made her heart ache 

"MOMO," a voice said quietly, and she spun around to face its owner. 

The Realian choked back a gasp as she saw a familiar figure perched on the edge of the hillock's retaining wall. Tilting her head to the side, she slowly approached the little girl with red-gold hair. "You're Nephilim, aren't you?" MOMO asked, clutching her wand apprehensively. "From when KOS-MOS - why are you _here_, too?" 

"There is," she answered in her low, steady voice, "something you must do. Something that only you can do, MOMO." 

"Me?" she squeaked back, raising her hand to her mouth. _But, what can I do alone? I need the others, and I don't think anyone even knows I've dived yet..._

Nephilim nodded, standing up, her white dress falling in its even folds. As she stood, the motion revealed something in her arms that hadn't been there before: a small blond-haired baby. As MOMO looked on in awe, the girl raised the child up high, staring into his eyes, blue on blue. The baby didn't make a sound, simply looking down at the gently-glowing figure that held him. 

"Who-who is that baby?" MOMO asked, taking another step closer. "Is that Ziggy?" 

"It is very important that everyone accepts the whole of their memories," she said quietly, sending another shiver down the Realian's spine as she remembered the statement from before. "And yet, for Jan Sauer, this child, the man you know as Ziggy, this may not be possible. For most of his long life he has wished only to be dead." 

Stifling a cry, MOMO shook her head hard. "That can't be true!" she protested vehemently before gazing at her feet, sudden guilt rising inside her chest. What did she really know about Ziggy, anyway? She hadn't known his real name, didn't even know how he'd died maybe he really hadn't wanted to be resurrected after all. But what did that matter, since he was alive again? He was her friend, and she trusted him with her life. Yet maybe, he didn't trust her 

Nephilim drew the baby back to her chest; slowly, he reached up one tiny hand to grab hold of the cross that hung around her neck. A moment later he let go, bright red blood from four sharp cuts streaking across his palm, but he still remained silent. "You are the only one who can help him," she murmured, brushing the little boy's wisps of golden hair with her fingertips. 

And then MOMO looked up again - and she was gone. "Nephilim!" the girl cried out, stumbling forward toward the emptiness. "Don't leave me here alone!" Her shoulders slumped for a moment, and she sighed, fighting back the confusion and panic that was starting to set in. She couldn't let Ziggy stay like this, but what was she supposed to _do_? 

Quickly deciding that staying where she was wouldn't help anything, she started down the nearest street, following it wherever it would lead her. She walked closely along the walls of buildings, trailing one hand across their stone and metal as if to keep her position clear. Certainly there weren't Gnosis here, as there had been in the world of memories KOS-MOS had created for Shion and Junior, but she wasn't sure what might be taking their place. 

Sighing, she reached to her wrist, tracing the shape of the bullet charm with her fingers. _You'd know how I should help him, Junior,_ she thought, frowning around at this abandoned city. _I guess I should find him, first. It should be easy, since there's nothing else here._

The further she went, with each step she took, the sky above darkened from its sunset gold into a mass of stormy, oppressive clouds, lengthening the shadows across the streets. Wind picked up from out of nowhere, sending MOMO's dusty-rose hair flying wildly around her face; lightning crackled from cloud to cloud in flashes of bluish light. 

Catching herself against the unlit display of a street sign, the Realian ducked behind it to shield herself from the gusts, squeezing her eyes closed. "Ziggy," she forced out, her small voice disappearing into the howl of the wind, "stop, you're scaring me-" 

Much to her surprise, as soon as the words had left her lips the storm stopped suddenly, as if turned off by a switch. The bright colors of the sunset flooded the sky once more, turning the white façades of the buildings into pillars of red-gold fire. MOMO gasped, pressing a hand to her chest as she slipped out from behind the sign. 

And then, she heard the sound of laughter. It came from ahead of her, echoing through the empty streets, and she walked toward it curiously, though with her weapon held tightly in front of her just in case. 

There was a boy running through the intersection, giggling at the small dog that chased him, nipping at his heels. He looked about seven or eight, wide eyes of amber-brown catching the fading light, reddish curls escaping from underneath a stocking cap, and after a moment he caught sight of her and came to a stop, blinking at her with interest. Too surprised to do anything else, MOMO simply stared back at him awkwardly. 

"Hi!" he piped, jogging toward her; his little brown and white dog bristled, barking. "Wow, someone here! It's been forever since I've seen someone else here!" 

_Who is this boy? What's he doing here? This _is_ Ziggy's Encephalon, isn't it!_ "Y-you," MOMO stammered, looking warily at the artificial dog as it continued to growl at her. "You're here all alone?" 

The child grinned, shaking his head before bending to sweep up the barking creature into his arms. "My dad's here too," he volunteered. "My dad's really cool. He fights bad guys!" 

"Oh, really?" she asked, feeling her lips curve upward into a smile. It was obvious already that this was the kind of boy who carried frogs in his pockets and couldn't sit still for anything. She leaned down a little closer to his level, not that it took much, bracing her hands on her thighs. "What's your name?" 

"I'm Nate!" he answered enthusiastically, shifting his grip on the wriggling dog in his arms. "And this is Nex. Dad gave him to me. He's just as good as real, don't you think?" 

MOMO patted Nex on the head; the dog finally gave up its barking, letting her scratch behind its ears. It leaned its head into her hand, just like an actual animal, and she smiled gently. These were kind of like the precursors to Realians, weren't they? "Yes, he's just like real," she told him, straightening as Nate put his pet back on the ground. 

And then the heart-poundingly loud bang of a gun went off behind her head. 

The sound was followed by a breath of air rushing past her cheek, something passing almost close enough to nick her skin. Frightened, MOMO froze for a moment before turning all the way around, flinging out her arms to shield Nate as though her small body could really protect him from anything much. 

"That was a warning shot," a familiar voice called, the sound making her heart drop into her stomach. "Step away from him right now, or the next one won't be." 

_It - can't be!_ she thought, her jaw dropping as she saw the figure standing down the street, wearing an old-fashioned Federation uniform, a pistol in his hand and aimed for her head. "Ziggy?" she gasped unthinkingly. 

"_What_?" Nate interjected in a near-shout, peering around her, and then he suddenly pushed past her, running toward the man, Nex immediately at his side. "Hey! Dad!" 

MOMO didn't move to stop him, realizing that she was wrong. Strands of blond hair trailed forward over his forehead - much more messily than Ziggy's hair ever fell - and the electric-blue eyes were the same, but this man was obviously no cyborg. 

He lowered the gun as the boy and dog came near, but his gaze never left the little Realian as he placed his other hand on Nate's shoulder. "Are you all right?" he asked quickly. 

"Yeah, Dad," he responded, sounding surprised that the question was even asked. "She's a _girl_-" 

"Just stay here." The uniformed man approached her slowly, the gun still held casually in his hand; it reminded her of the exact way Junior wielded his own weapons. "Little girl, what are you doing here? Where are your parents?" 

Stunned by the sound of Ziggy's voice asking her something like this, she just looked back up at him, shaking her head mutely. It hurt how much this stranger looked like her friend and bodyguard, but there was something different about his eyes, something missing somehow that she couldn't quite recognize. "Daddy's... dead," MOMO finally whispered, not wanting to lie, "and Mommy's at Fifth Jerusalem" 

"You mean Fourth Jerusalem, surely?" Gazing at her closely for a moment, the policeman holstered his pistol and knelt down on one knee to look into her golden eyes before giving her a smile. After a moment MOMO had to look away; she knew she'd never seen Ziggy smile before. "And what's your name?" 

"My name's MOMO," she replied quietly. 

"Hi, MOMO!" Nate giggled from behind his father's shoulder, and the man turned slightly to frown back at him. 

The Realian covered her mouth with her hand to hide her own smile. _I wish I'd known that Ziggy had a son, _she thought wistfully, at the same time able to see that, on the genetic level, the two were not even related at all. She knew from experience, however, that something like that didn't always matter. 

The blond human rose back up to his feet, brushing strands of hair back from his face with a gloved hand. "I'm Captain Jan Sauer of the Federation Police Bureau, Eighteen-Seventy-Fifth Special- well, anyway, that's not important. You've already met my" - a barely perceptible pause - "son, Nathan." 

She nodded, wrapping her arms around herself as she worked out what she was going to say, the strange apprehension of history filling her mind. "May I call you Captain Sauer?" MOMO asked, her throat tight and dry. 

He raised his eyebrow at her, giving her a hard glance before turning away, scanning the horizon ahead to the west where the sun was disappearing behind the skyscrapers. "Call me whatever you like," he answered gruffly. 

"Jan," she decided, feeling dizzy. "I'll call you Jan." 

He gave a quick nod, still staring outward at the city, looking displeased. "We can't stay here," Jan murmured. "MOMO, you'll have to come with us. It's not safe here. I don't know how you got here, but it's not safe." 

"Yes, you have to come with us!" Nate echoed, a furrow forming between his brows. "Dad, do you see it?" 

"Not yet." Shaking his head, he gave the boy a stern look. "I don't want you wandering off alone again." 

He sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Yes, Dad." His eyes lit up again a moment later, though, and he pointed at MOMO with a grin. "But can't I go with MOMO? I want to-" 

"No," Jan said sharply. "Neither of you leave my sight. It'll be night soon. We'd best be finding dinner and getting back home. Hopefully," he sighed, beckoning toward the two children as he started off down the left-hand street, "we won't be seen." 

The catch in his voice warned her something was wrong, and jogging slightly to catch up, MOMO asked, "What do you mean? Seen by what? There's nothing else here-" 

"No, there is," Jan replied, his eyes narrowing. "I don't want to scare you, but there's something hunting us. I'm glad we found you before it did." 

"Hunting you?" MOMO breathed. _What is going on here, Ziggy? All I've found is an empty city and and you, I think, but it's not you and _"Why?" 

Suddenly, she felt a small hand grab hold of her own. "Don't be scared," Nate told her, smiling sweetly. "Dad will keep us safe." 

She let out the breath she had been holding in, giving him a wan grin in return. "Don't worry, I'm not scared," she told him, staring up at the tall figure walking ahead of them, pistol drawn again and held ready as he kept lookout. Too familiar and yet too wrong; his footsteps were too quiet, but he still had such confidence in his movements. "I don't understand what's happening, but I believe you, Nate." 

Looking back over his shoulder, Jan gave her a quick smile; this time, despite the weirdness of it, she flashed one back as well. They weren't real, she had to keep reminding herself; they were just memories, or something like them, but maybe these two would lead her to the way she could help Ziggy after all 


	2. Two

_"Tea in a loaded room, in a loaded house, in a loaded town  
A finger taps the table, bottled ships they run aground  
If only for my life  
If only for my life  
If only for my life, know me, know me"  
Matthew Good Band, "Parable"_

"How long has everything been like this?" MOMO asked as the small group entered a market store, climbing in through a broken front window since the doorway had been blocked by fallen rubble. 

The sector of the city they were in now was in much worse shape than the one she'd arrived in; several of the buildings here had collapsed, sinking in on each other like sandcastles washed by the waves. It all seemed very structurally unsound, and she kept glancing at the ceiling of the store, trying to judge the strength of the building's framework. 

Jan shook his head in response to her question, opening a freezer case that still seemed to be working. "I don't know," he mumbled. "A long time, I know that." 

"But there's still food?" she went on quizzically, turning in a slow circle to take in the whole of the darkened store. 

The blond man shrugged, making a small pile of wrapped items in one arm. "There's always food." He frowned, as if her question was making him think about something he'd never bothered to before. "We never really want for anything like that." Shaking it off, he turned toward Nate, dropping the parcels into a bag. "How does steak sound tonight? Since we have a guest?" 

"It sounds great!" he beamed, in the process of scattering the contents of a box of dog treats in a short line down the main aisle. The boy laughed to himself as Nex followed the treats wherever the line led, snapping up each one with greedy precision. 

_I guess it makes sense, _MOMO sighed to herself, _considering the circumstances._ "Please, let me help you make dinner," she offered, pressing her palms together in front of her. "For all the trouble I've caused." 

"Well, if you really want to," Jan answered, startled. He turned to her suddenly, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck with his free hand. "But, you must forgive me, MOMO - I'm the one who should apologize. It's been so long since I've seen anyone else; I think I've treated you badly. Shooting at you and everything." 

"No, please," she said, her cheeks flushing. She had to constantly remind herself that this wasn't Ziggy and he wasn't acting abnormally, that he didn't know her and she didn't know him and she couldn't be very casual with him. "It's all right - but, both you and Nate have said that before. What happened to everyone else?" 

He gestured for them to follow him out of the store, and they had gone a distance down the street again, skirting rubble, before he finally answered her question. "There was a calamity, many years ago," Jan's deep voice began, reverberating through the stillness. "I forget just how long, but many people disappeared. Those who were left they began vanishing as well. More and more, until we're the only ones left. And disappearing isn't what _we_ have to worry about, now." 

"Vanished," MOMO repeated thoughtfully. "What kind of calamity?" 

Nate stopped where he was for a moment, staring at the ground, Nex cradled tightly in his arms. The man's movements became jerky momentarily, his voice catching as he told her, "It was a huge explosion." He sighed, turning slightly toward the boy. "Come on. We should keep moving." 

She fell silent as they continued on, following after pensively, her hands folded in front of her. She had begun to notice a pattern in the destruction of the city around her - or at least, it seemed that the further they went toward the center of the area, the more run-down and crumbling the buildings were. 

Glancing around curiously, MOMO stopped walking as they came through another empty intersection, staring down the cross street in surprise. There was a building several blocks that way; she would never have noticed it apart from any other, normally, except that it stood intact in the middle of a wide swath of devastation. 

"MOMO?" Jan asked as he stopped by her side, having noticed she wasn't coming along. "Is something wrong?" 

"That place" she said slowly, pointing down the street at the unremarkable building. "How could it have remained untouched?" 

Once again her two companions seemed uncomfortable, as if she was bringing up a taboo subject. "It sounds ignorant, in this day and age, to say a place is cursed," the man told her, moving slightly; the Realian turned to see as Nate suddenly pressed his face against his stepfather's side, his skin pale. "But," he finished, almost unconsciously rubbing the back of the boy's neck comfortingly, "that's just what it is. The thing that hunts us it's destroyed most of the sectors here, but it doesn't touch that one building." 

"Nate?" MOMO asked as she heard a sob, leaning down to catch a glimpse of his tear-filled eyes. "What's-?" 

"It scares me," he choked out, sniffling loudly before pulling away and turning his back to hide his tears from her. "Let's go away from here, MOMO, please!" 

Nodding, she raised her hands to her lips, letting them hurry her away. _One more mystery to add to the list,_ she thought, sighing. 

The distance seemed to stretch out ahead of them as Jan led them further down the streets, many of them nearly barricaded by rubble. Her legs were starting to get tired just as they reached what looked like a dilapidated apartment building about five stories tall. The policeman gestured toward it, and Nate straightened up, looking slowly cheerful again. 

"We're home," he called back to MOMO, waving his hand for her to follow him as he set Nex down and ran for the lobby, leaping through the broken glass door, which stood half-open in the frame, its automatic sensors not functioning. 

She jogged a little to catch up with him, catching her breath at the top of a flight of stairs. The second-level hallway was dim, the track-lighting along the edges of the ceiling turned off as well. This had apparently been a fairly upscale apartment building beforehand, but now it seemed almost like a slum. 

The boy stopped by a door, grinning at her. "This is where we live, for now," he announced proudly. 

"For now?" she queried, both sensing and hearing it as Jan took the stairs behind them at a slower pace. 

He nodded. "We move around, when when it finds us," he finished in a hurry. "But I think we're okay here. It hasn't found us in such a long time!" 

_'It',_ MOMO repeated silently to herself. _Ziggy, this has something to do with you not waking up, doesn't it? Don't worry, I'll find out what's behind this!_

His footsteps barely audible on the carpet, Jan came up behind them, fishing a keycard out of his pocket and waving it next to the door sensor. A little green light flashed on, and the sound of a click rang through the silent, silent corridor. "It seems to ignore what's already been destroyed," the man clarified. "That's why it's so dangerous for you - and you _know_ this, Nate - to go into the remaining sectors." 

"But that's where the playground is," the seven-year-old told him, as if that explained everything. 

Stepping forward so that the door slid open, Jan gave him a gentle swat on the behind, propelling him into the darkened apartment. "Don't argue, Nate. You know better." 

With an exaggerated pout, he turned to look back at the pink-haired Realian, giving her a grin, both golden-brown eyes closing in a wink he couldn't quite manage to pull off. "But if I hadn't gone to play, we wouldn't have found MOMO!" 

Smiling back at him, she stepped in as well; there was the hiss of the door closing behind them all, and a soft beep ringing out as Jan immediately locked it again behind them. 

The apartment was very dark inside, almost pitch-black, but even as she blinked to adjust her vision the man walked without faltering across the room. A moment later she was forced to blink again when he pulled aside the blackout curtains in front of the window, letting the golden light into the room. 

It looked like any other living area MOMO had ever seen, if not a bit old-fashioned, a kitchen set at one end of the room, dining table and couch and viewscreen arranged neatly and a hall leading back toward bedrooms and bathroom. As she took it in, however, small oddities began to jump out at her - the arrangement of flashbeams and provisions near the door, for one, attesting to the need for a possible quick escape. 

"Well then," Jan said to break the silence, removing his gun from its holster and setting it on the table next to the rest of the supplies, "let's get started with dinner while there's still light out, shall we?" 

"All right," the girl agreed, following him toward the kitchen. 

He began giving her instructions, telling her where pans and seasonings were kept, and as she moved to fetch the items, her eyes drifted toward the living area. Nate had gone to sit by the window on a tall stool, staring outside with a thoughtful expression, his little dog in his lap. She smiled a bit at the sight, wondering what he was thinking about, and then turned back to help Jan. 

As she watched him drop the meat in the pan, observing the process curiously in case she'd have to cook something for someone in the future, the memory of her own voice came to her mind: _'If I work hard and become a good wife, will that make Ziggy happy too?'_

She shook her head to herself, her cheeks flushing with strange embarrassment. It hadn't been very long at all since she'd asked that of Shion - onboard the _Elsa_, wasn't it? Yes, that was right Shion had been looking for Ziggy, wanting him to help her find Commander Cherenkov. 

_Before I met Junior,_ she reminded herself. A lot had happened, and the journey with her friends had changed her, as it was doing still. 

Despite that, she could never have imagined for herself a scene like this one. The meat sizzled in the pan, the scent of the spices wafting upward around her face, the last rays of the sun spilling in through the large front window, giving the hair and skin and dull brown uniform of the man standing next to her a golden cast. He hummed to himself, barely audible past the sound of the cooking steaks, using a fork to flip them over. If she looked at only his face it was so warm and comfortable here, just a moment of captured happiness 

_This feeling it's stupid. Just like thinking I can ever be human too. _MOMO sighed a little, looking down at her feet before straightening to fill some glasses with water and bring them to the small dining table nearby. By the time she was setting out the plates she had shaken off her melancholy, though the strangeness of the situation wouldn't go away. 

"Nate, dinner," Jan said suddenly, blue eyes flicking toward the boy. He immediately perked up, sliding from the stool and plunking Nex on the ground before moving to the small table to seat himself. The Realian went to join him, watching as the food was served; it smelled quite appealing, despite her sensors telling her it wasn't even meat, but she waited until the policeman had taken his own seat before reaching toward her fork. 

However, before she could get it, Nate had seized her hand, clasping it tightly in his own. She gave him a confused look, to which he simply replied, "We gotta say grace first, MOMO!" 

The girl looked to Jan, who raised his eyebrows a bit, holding out his hand. Unfamiliar with this custom but willing to go along with it anyway, she rather hesitantly placed her hand in his, Nate on the other side of him making a circle. "No longer forward nor behind I look in hope or fear," the two said together, one voice loud and confident, the other deep and thoughtful, "but, grateful, take the good I find, the best of now and here." 

Suddenly releasing her hand, the boy grabbed for his fork; Jan too let go of her, automatically reaching over to cut his son's steak into smaller pieces for him. Listening to the sound of knife against plate, MOMO finally was able to say, "I've never heard that before." 

"It's an old poem," Jan told her. "Someone named Whittier. That's always been our grace." 

"I like it," she said, ducking her head a bit. Finished with Nate, he half-gestured toward her plate, but she had already begun for herself, and so he merely looked down to his own food. 

Neatly cutting off a corner of the steak with her knife, she speared it on the fork and raised it to her mouth. There was indeed something there, sort of, though it was less like meat and more like a mouthful of fluff. She chewed experimentally, intrigued by the strangeness of it. 

It was certain, then: nothing in this world was really there, and the lack of data to her sensors meant she was unable to truly observe and catalogue her surroundings. Only the presences of Jan and Nate across the table from her had any substance at all, shining like streetlamps in the darkness. 

"Is it any good?" the man asked her suddenly, looking almost anxious. "I'm afraid cooking isn't my best skill." 

She nodded quickly, swallowing down the bite of food before trying to speak. "Oh, yes. It tastes great, Jan!" 

"Karen - Nate's mother," he amended when she opened her mouth to ask, "loved to cook. So I never really had to do it, back then." 

Cautiously, not wanting to give offense, MOMO asked, "Did she disappear, too?" 

Jan shook his head, not appearing disturbed in the slightest by the question. "No it happened before then. There was an accident on board the ship where she was stationed; an explosion breached the hull. She was a medic all she wanted was to help people, and she was able to get a lot of them to safety before the emergency bulkheads closed. She went back for the last one, but they didn't make it out." 

The girl was amazed by the simple, unaffected way he had told her the story, as it was certainly making her feel sad. "I'm sorry," she murmured back, setting down her fork. 

"It's all right," he returned, his gaze unfocused for a moment, staring off into the distance. She couldn't help but shiver a little at the thought of memories with memories of their own. "It's been a long time. And Karen wants us to remember her happily, I'm sure of it." 

"Mom's a hero," Nate said brightly. "She's always around, you know. Hey, Dad, show her the picture!" 

He hesitated a moment before giving in to the boy's request, reaching for a pocket of his uniform and drawing out a palm-sized card, which he held flat. With a little flick, the holographic image bloomed into life above it, and as Jan extended it MOMO leaned forward to peer at the picture. Letting her take it, he returned to his meal, watching her even as he continued to eat in silence. 

It made her heart wrench, seeing them so happy, Jan and the woman Karen, brown hair arranged in intricate curls, standing together in Federation dress uniform. In her arms she held a baby, obviously Nate. _Stepson,_ she realized, trying to take in every detail while she could. That was why she couldn't see a relation in their genes. _Oh, Ziggy, you were so lucky_

Nate was leaning in over her shoulder to look at the picture too, although he'd undoubtedly seen it many times before, and after a moment she rather reluctantly handed it to him. He held it carefully in both small hands. "That's me, and Dad, and Mom when they got married. I was just a baby, see?" 

"You were very cute," she told him with a smile. 

He laughed and made a face at her, clumsily sending the hologram away and handing the card back to Jan. Almost in the same movement, the boy's arm shot out again, grabbing for her wrist. "Ooh, MOMO, what's this?" he asked, pulling a little at the bullet charm around her wrist to look at it for himself. "Is that a _real_ bullet?" 

"Nate, stop. Don't grab at people," the blond man told him sharply, and immediately he let go, looking only slightly abashed before clambering down from his chair. 

"Sorry, but - Dad, look! That's a real bullet! Where'd you get it, MOMO?" 

She let her other hand cover the charm, shoulders slightly hunched as she tried to keep in a sigh. "A - a friend gave it to me," she told him. "It's to keep me safe." 

"MOMO," Jan began seriously, his gaze intense on her now, "aren't your friends - your mother missing you now? We ought to be getting you back to them." 

The Realian slumped farther down, tracing the shape of the bullet hanging from her wrist. "I still have to find someone. I - I can't go back yet," she whispered. "I can't-" 

As if to hide her unhappiness, she stood and began to clear the table, collecting the plates. She couldn't tell them why she was really here, though, could she? If this was a memory of the way Ziggy was, how could he understand what things were like now? She couldn't go anywhere until she found him 

Jan leaned forward, rubbing at the bridge of his nose before sitting up straight in the chair again, apparently not convinced. "There should be a working dock left somewhere on this world," he began with odd tension in his voice. "There must be other people here, somewhere, in other cities. I can't imagine everything has been destroyed. We can find a - a ship to take you - take us - to Fourth Jerusalem. I wouldn't send you off alone" 

She was touched by his kindness, but she also understood the reason for his uneasiness; for them to leave this world, maybe even this city, was, of course, impossible. "Thank you for all your trouble," she said in a low voice, listening to the quiet clink of the plates as she stacked them together, "but I don't think she even cares to see me. Please don't worry about it." 

"She belongs here, Dad," Nate said loudly, almost as if to stop the oncoming protest. "She was already here to begin with." 

_What?_ MOMO thought, her hair whipping her cheeks as she spun toward him. "Already here?" she repeated, but he had turned away, crouching down to scratch behind Nex's ears. _But I am,_ she realized slowly. _I am part of Ziggy's memories too_

"I'm _sure_ your mother wants to know you're safe," Jan muttered, but he dropped the subject with obvious relief, turning his gaze toward the boy as he stood, pushing out his chair. "Nate, help her with those dishes. MOMO is our guest, not our maid." 

He scrambled up from the floor like a shot, grabbing for the plates in a motion designed to get the chore over with as quickly as possible. Plunking them down uncaringly in the sink, he grabbed for the Realian's wrist before she could turn the water on to start washing them. "No, don't bother with that," he pleaded, hopping up and down energetically, swinging her arm along with his. "Let's go play! The kid who used to live here had some really great toys!" 

"Okay," she agreed with a little laugh, gently disengaging her hand from his. 

"Remember, only until it's dark," Jan said from the living room, leaning over the coffee table from his seat on the couch. His hands were moving in swift, practiced motions, flipping out the parts of his pistol as he made sure they were clean and in working order; glancing down, MOMO could see that it wasn't just any gun, but could also convert into a beam weapon as well, similar to Junior's. 

"Right, right," Nate answered impatiently, tugging on her sleeve. "Come on!" 

She let him pull her down the hall toward the two bedrooms and bathroom located at the back of the apartment, the dog trotting at their heels. The smallest bedroom obviously belonged to a child, decorated in bright primary colors and with toys scattered everywhere. 

In the middle of the floor and rising up the side of the wall was a large model train layout, controlled by switches and knobs along one side; here the boy knelt, talking nonstop as he demonstrated how it worked. "I'm so glad you're here," he finished finally, smiling as he followed the motion of the toy engine as it wound its way through a cityscape. "And that we don't have to send you away." 

"I-I'm sorry, Nate," she said quietly, unable to meet his eyes, "but I can't stay, either. I'm going to disappear too, soon." 

"Oh, no," he said cheerfully, and her head flew up in surprise. He, however, remained focused on the small train's movements, pressing a button occasionally to switch the track. "You aren't going to disappear, MOMO. I know it. You're like Dad and me, you see." 

Frowning, she asked, "What do you mean?" 

"Hmm?" He glanced up, eyebrows raised. "About what?" 

MOMO gave him a thoughtful look, finally letting out a little sigh. "Never mind. It's okay." 

The rest of the time passed in silence until Jan appeared in the doorway, a folded blanket tucked under one arm. "Time, Nate," he announced, gesturing with his chin toward the bed in the corner of the room, the end of which Nex was already curled up on. "The light has to go off." As the boy groaned, slowly unfolding from where he was kneeling, the man continued, "I'm fixing the couch for you, MOMO, if you don't mind." 

"Oh, yes, that's fine," she hastened to tell him, quickly getting to her feet. "Don't worry, I'll fix it." The girl held out her arms to take the bundle he held, and after a moment he handed it over with a nod. "Goodnight, Nate," she told him, and he straightened from taking off his shoes to grin at her. 

"Night!" the boy called back, bouncing onto the mattress and giggling as the brown and white dog at the end of it whipped his head up to give his master an affronted look. 

Starting back out into the living room, MOMO stopped and turned to look back, watching as Jan tucked his stepson in, sitting on the edge of the bed to speak to him in his usual serious tone. _It's strange, _she thought, pushing away the wistfulness that was rising inside her. _He obviously cares for Nate, but he still seems so distant, somehow_

In the dimly-lit living room, she unrolled the thick comforter to find a pillow hidden inside. Plopping it on one end of the couch and throwing the blanket on, she sat down to peel off her high white boots, placing them carefully to one side. Sliding her legs under the blanket, she lay down and pulled its edge up to her chin, lost in thought. 

So far, there hadn't been many answers to her questions; she wished Nephilim was around to be interrogated some more. Jan, Nate: these had to be the parts of Ziggy's memory that, according to the strange girl, he had to come to accept. What she couldn't understand was why he _didn't _accept them already. 

Certainly, Jan had died in order for Ziggy to be created, and because of the time that had passed Nate would be dead by now as well. Still, wouldn't it be better for him to remember them as they were, even if there was no way to return to his past life? 

_And, another thing,_ she thought, frustrated; _what in the world is hunting Ziggy's memories? Why is there nothing here but these two and 'it'? _One thing was certain, though - she couldn't stay here like this much longer. The longer it took to find the cyborg, the less time she would have to help him before she had to return from the dive or risk losing her consciousness here. 

A movement from the hallway broke her thoughts, and she turned her head to see the tall policeman leaning slightly against the wall nearby. "You all right?" he asked, and she nodded, snuggling back against the pillow. Though she didn't feel tired - and there wasn't _time_ for sleep - she remained where she was, watching as Jan cautiously pulled back a corner of the makeshift blackout curtain to peer outside. Turning back, he smiled absently, continuing, "Next time we move, I'll find a place with an extra room for you, if you're to stay with us." 

A wave of regret pounding through her, MOMO sat up suddenly. How could she make them understand that she would have to return to reality? Somehow, she doubted they would believe her if she even tried to explain that they were memories and she was not. "Jan it's not that I don't want to stay with you and Nate, but" It was the only thing she could think of, and miserably, she repeated, "I am going to vanish too." 

There was a gentle look on the familiar face as he lightly, almost awkwardly patted the top of her head. "No you're like us, MOMO," he told her, eerily echoing Nate from before. "Different. You're too important to just disappear - but that means it will be after you, too." Her golden eyes blinked up at him, astonished, and he knelt down briefly next to the couch. "Please don't worry. I'll watch out for you." 

"Thank you," she whispered solemnly, and he nodded, rising smoothly to his feet and tapping off the light on the end table. 

"Get some rest, now," Jan said, taking a step toward the short hallway. However, MOMO's sudden gasp stopped him, making him twist to look back at her again. "What is it?" 

Not seeming to hear him, the Observational Realian remained still as a statue, clutching the blanket unconsciously between her hands as she stared toward the covered window. Her sensors were picking up the presence of a mech outside; it seemed like some kind of a drone, from what she could tell at this distance, with no sign of a pilot. It was slowly patrolling through the empty streets, but moving steadily, assuredly, in a straight line toward the apartment building. 

"MOMO," Jan demanded once more, the sound of his voice snapping her back. "What is it?" 

"There's something coming, something outside!" she told him without thinking. "At its present speed, it will arrive in five minutes!" 

He looked skeptical, sidestepping around the window and coming up beside it to peer outward. "Damn! How in the world did you?" the man breathed, shaking his head. "No, that doesn't matter. The only reason it comes into the dead sectors is because it's found us-" Abandoning stealth, he tore off down the hall toward Nate's room, shouting back, "Get ready; we have to leave, now!" 

Quickly bending to pull on her tall boots and pick up her Dragon Rod, MOMO was up and standing by the door by the time he returned, carrying the boy in his arms, Nex with his undying programmed loyalty right after them. Setting Nate down and handing him the prepared knapsack, Jan drew his pistol and grabbed for the flashbeam on the table before cautiously opening the door. First checking the pitch-black hallway outside, he gestured the two children to follow him at a run toward the fire-escape hatch at the end of it. 

Fear she wished she couldn't feel clutched at her stomach, but when she looked at Nate he seemed apprehensive but calm, and it helped to ease her mind a bit. _They've definitely done this before,_ she thought, easily swinging onto the short ladder ahead of them and nearly sliding down to the ground. The pink-haired girl looked around quickly as the others descended, her small face serious. "Jan," she said very quietly as he dropped down next to her, grabbing for his wrist, "it's on the other side of the building!" 

He nodded, taking her knowledge at face value although it was obvious he was desperately wanting to ask her how she knew all this. "Which way?" he breathed. 

"It's going to the left," she answered quickly, and he immediately began to lead them the other way, trying to keep the apartment complex between them and the drone-like thing she was sensing. 

Once they'd gone a short distance, Jan urged them into a run, keeping the gun hefted in one hand and continually looking back over his shoulder. Nate couldn't run as fast as the other two, but his stepfather couldn't pick him up and still remain on the defensive; MOMO tried to pull him along and keep him from falling, her heart pounding. No matter how fast they went, no matter which buckled, rubble-littered street they tried to flee down, 'it' was steadily, almost casually gaining on them. 

The man's little hiss of fear drew her to a halt, and she realized the sound of footsteps she was hearing weren't belonging to him. He had stopped, half-turned and his weapon ready to fire, but he looked back to them quickly, trying to mask the fear on his face. "Keep going!" he commanded in a strangled sort of tone. "We aren't losing it this way - I'll try to slow it down!" 

Hefting the Dragon Rod in one hand, she let go of Nate despite his whimper of terror, turning to search around. It was getting closer and closer- "I can fight too, Jan! I'll help!" 

His gaze flicked about, taking in the crumbling white skyscrapers rearing up ghostlike around them, assessing tactics and escape routes. "No! Children shouldn't _have_ to - just go, MOMO! Take Nate and get out of here!" 

Somehow, being called a child took her aback; for all that she was shaped like a girl of eleven, she'd always been known for what she was: an Observational Realian, a false human, a - a doll. But Realians hadn't existed when they had been alive, and so he didn't know he thought she was 

Her hands shaking, she moved to obey him, and then a movement down the street caught her eye. _It's too late, _she thought, some part of her, despite her dread, curious to see what 'it' actually was, if it might somehow help her unlock the way to helping her friend in the real world. 

Jan immediately moved in front of them, slowly moving backward and forcing them to move as well. "I want you to keep running," he told them grimly. "It won't go after you if I can keep it busy. Stay in the destroyed sectors-" 

"But what... _is_ it?" she squeaked, looking out from behind the policeman at the approaching metallic shape. 

Nate bit his lip, his face deathly pale, and he clutched Nex to him tightly, just barely peering out from over the dog's head. "That's what's after us!" he whispered loudly. "It's called Ziggurat Eight!" 

"Zi-" MOMO began, feeling as if she'd been slammed into a brick wall. "No!" 

The shadowy movement suddenly began coming at them, faster and faster, and Jan tried to shove them into motion. However, the girl was frozen in place, unable to react, stumbling as Nate tried to pull her away and then let go. The - no, it wasn't a drone, was it? - the _thing_ raised a limb, pointing at them- 

"Look out!" Jan bellowed, lurching toward Nate as the wall of fire roared through them. Catching up the boy in his arms, he rolled them out of the way of the blast, using his own body as a shield. 

Thrown away from them, MOMO struggled up to hands and knees, her attention, despite how bruised she felt, fixed on the tall figure that stood several meters down the street. It took heavy, even steps toward her, and the Realian began to tremble at the familiar sound of them, golden eyes the size of saucers. _No,_ she thought frantically, _no, no, no-_

The thing looming above her now was the vague shape of a human, but instead of flesh it was plainly, almost defiantly made entirely of metal. Unconscious analysis revealed blades and other, more hidden weapons built into strong artificial arms; the lines of the body were slim, well-built, and almost elegant, strips of steel fitted together to move flexibly, even crossing its face underneath sturdy metallic plates. 

But she knew that shape, she'd know it with her eyes closed, and she knew the cutting edge that jutted from the left forearm. And she also knew the electric-blue eyes that stared down at her, irises contracting and expanding mechanically as they focused in on her, except there was nothing in them, nothing at all - KOS-MOS had more life in her eyes than this- 

It suddenly raised its arm as if a decision had been made, fingers drawing backward to reveal a hollow in the palm of the hand. Shots rang out from where Jan stood, the bullets ricocheting harmlessly off steel limbs, and MOMO raised the Dragon Rod defensively in front of her, otherwise unwilling to move away. "Ziggy!" she screamed, shaking her head. "Is that you? Please, stop! It's me! Don't you know me? It's MOMO! Ziggy!" 

"Your identity is unknown to me," it declared, a motorized undertone to the voice she also knew so well, "and irrelevant. Everything must be destroyed." 

She shook her head, her lips trembling, tears welling up in her eyes and trickling down her cheeks, tiny reflections glistening there in the darkness. "Why?" she mouthed, barely audible. 

"Your deaths are a necessary part of my existence." Without further hesitation, Ziggurat 8 drew back its arm, flinging a handful of energy toward her. At the last moment swinging her wand forward protectively, MOMO winced, waiting for the impact. 

However, there was a fast series of clicks and a bloom of green light exploding against the cyborg's arm, knocking the shot wide. The laser-like beam hit against the smooth metal of her Dragon Rod, tearing it from her hand and burning her fingers but otherwise missing her. 

As her weapon clattered to the macadam, it raised its head, looking toward the source of the blast; scrambling backward, the girl did the same, gasping in relief. 

Jan stood there to the side, the cylinder of his gun switched now to fire beams. His skin was pale, but he looked determined; Nate cowered even further back, half-behind a chunk of cement that had fallen from a building. "MOMO, come here!" he shouted to her. "We have to run! I can't fight it, I can't hurt it! We have to run!" 

Nodding hard, with one more tearful look back at the painfully-familiar silhouette looming back in the darkness, she ran toward him. Its motions smooth and deliberate, Ziggurat 8 raised its hands again, aiming at the running Realian with all the concentration of a hunter in the woods, prey sighted. 

She turned toward it despite herself, feeling her feet come to a stop. _This isn't it's not_ "Ziggy!" MOMO wailed, reaching out toward the metal figure. With no reluctance whatsoever, it snapped its hand forward, the bright-blue light streaking toward her, the second one following a mere second later, shooting straight for her like twin stars- 

And, with a rustle of cloth, her vision turned black, Jan's arms curling around her form. 

She could feel the impact of the energy beam through him as it hit his back, and shrieked as the second one pierced all the way through to his chest, exiting just above her head. Nate screamed somewhere behind them, the cry mixing with his stepfather's, and the man swayed forward, staggering. 

MOMO fought to steady him, her arms tight around his waist, the soles of her shoes scrabbling along the gravelly street for purchase. Blood was streaming from the wounds, bright red and hot as it trickled down into her hair, smearing across her forehead, her cheek. 

Jan was gasping quickly now, fighting to draw breath into a collapsed lung, but he twisted around awkwardly, the gun raised in a shaking hand as Ziggurat 8 lifted its own metallic limb, poised for another shot. The man pulled the trigger; however, the twisting beam of green-white light veered upward from its target and blasted a hole through the corner of a building. A mass of rubble crashed down between them and their assailant, the tremor of the collision knocking all three hard to the ground. 

Dragging herself back up, MOMO searched through the roiling cloud of dust for the shape and then quickly crawled over to where the policeman had fallen, her face pale with shock. Blood was already starting to pool beneath him; she knelt and gently pillowed his head on her lap, for the moment putting the sound of Nate's terrible moaning cries out of her mind. _Oh, Ziggy,_ she thought, brushing the blond hair back from his face, _this can't be happening! Can't I do anything!_

"Run!" he hissed weakly, peering up at her blearily. "That won't stop it long!" 

"No," she choked out, closing her eyes, a pale glow suffusing her skin as she activated her nanorepair function, although she had no idea if it would work on him. Leaning down, MOMO cradled Jan's upper body tightly to her chest, his blood burning her through the fabric of her navy dress, the light surrounding them brightening as she sent the spray of molecular robots to heal the man's gaping wounds. "Mystic powers," she sobbed, "grant me a miracle!" 

She held her breath, eyes squeezed tightly closed, her face pressed into his hair. It felt like hours, his motionless form heavy against her, and then suddenly she let out a gasp, feeling him stir, hearing the sound of his coughing. He turned, retching up the clotted blood that had collected in his lung when it had been pierced. She could only blink back the tears and lean away as Nate tore toward them, flinging himself at his stepfather and bawling. 

Jan put his arms around the boy automatically; his gaze as he looked at her was filled with gratitude. "How?" he whispered before shaking his head. There wasn't any time to ask questions. He retrieved his gun and moved slowly to lever up to his feet, letting MOMO support him as he stood. For a moment he took in the great amounts of his blood covering the street, their clothing, and glanced at her before shaking his head. "Come on. Quickly." 

Moving as fast as they could, the small group hurried down the street in search of a place to hide. MOMO couldn't resist looking back over her shoulder, though nothing was apparent - just dust and rubble she knew inside weren't even there. _Ziggy that's not you. I know it - I know it - but then where are you?_


	3. Three

(Heya! I've finally played Xenosaga II. Luckily, it only really affects the chapter I haven't written yet, so that's easily fixed. This story definitely takes place before XSII, though, if it would take place anywhere at all. There's only one more chapter to go, and hopefully it won't take too long to finish. Thanks for keeping up with this!) 

_ "And as the stars arise  
To call the end of time  
With midnight near  
I look into my hands  
The only thing I've held  
Is foolish fear"  
-ThouShaltNot, "Last Comfort"_

The dark water pooled in the bottom of the drainage ditch reflected nothing but the starless darkness of the sky above them. Her head tilted back by the gentle touch of a hand under her chin, MOMO stared upward unblinkingly, taking in the odd flat black color as Jan silently wiped half-dried blood from her face. 

Realian, man, child and dog were currently huddled in the relative safety of the ditch, just underneath a walkway and up against the grate which prevented people from accessing what lay further back. Nate, a sullen expression on his face, sat upon the cement next to the shallow trickles of water, occasionally poking a stick into it and watching its path change. The knapsack of supplies he'd carried was open nearby, the source of the cloth his stepfather was currently using to clean her up. 

She could sense him inspecting her as he washed the stains away, serious blue eyes noting the features which, in the real world, humans were so used to now. MOMO couldn't make herself meet his gaze, watching the nothingness of the sky instead and trying not to shiver at the coldness of the water on her skin and hair. 

Jan's blood all over her, a memory's blood - but they'd been able to kill Gnosis before, in KOS-MOS' Encephalon, and those mechs and soldiers that had been mere recollections too. _What would have happened if I couldn't have healed you?_ she thought at him, brows furrowing unconsciously at the idea of it. 

Finally, he spoke, forcing her to look at him. "MOMO. What _are_ you?" 

The girl turned her face aside reflexively at the question, his fingers leaving her skin. The dull, unhappy ache inside her seemed to swell, and she stared down at her knees. "Something you won't know about for a long time," she answered reluctantly. "But it doesn't really matter now." 

"Doesn't matter?" he repeated, mystified. "I should say it does. If you hadn't been able to-" 

"If I hadn't stopped, you wouldn't have been wounded, Jan!" she burst out. "It - it doesn't matter what I am. Just that you're safe. I'm sorry, but you couldn't understand" 

He did not sound happy with the lack of explanation, grudgingly conceding, "Perhaps. But why are you here? Were you sent to help us?" 

The Realian let out a long sigh. "No, I I'm here to find someone. But maybe I can help you too." 

"MOMO," Nate broke in suddenly, peering up almost darkly from under his mop of red-brown curls. "You sounded like you _knew_ it - Ziggurat Eight. You're looking for-" 

She shook her head hard, pressing her fingers against her face, hiding her gaze in her hands. "No," she protested strongly, "that's not who I'm looking for! It's not!" She raised her head as Jan touched her shoulder, taking a breath to calm down, and stared up at the lightless night sky. "He's still here, but somewhere else. I I know it. I can tell..." 

The man set down the cloth he'd been using, sitting back down onto the curved floor of the drainage ditch. Leaning forward over one knee, his brows furrowed, he seemed to stare into the distance for a while before finally looking back over at the other two. "I'm sorry," Jan finally murmured. "But there's really no one here but us and it. And now you." 

_ And if you'd been killed? _She almost asked the question aloud before realizing they wouldn't know. As far as they were aware, if they died the world would continue, but as she stared out at the shadowy false buildings, MOMO was sure that if the memories she sat beside were destroyed, this entire world, Ziggy's Encephalon, would be erased as if it had never existed. _He can't be! _she thought in anguish. _He can't be trying to get rid of everything!_

However her heart sank at the thought, things were becoming clearer. How could Jan and Nate hurt their attacker if they were memories and he - it - was not? The only thing they _could_ do was continue to run and hide 

"Hey, MOMO?" Nate frowned, waving a hand in front of her. "MOMO?" She gasped, broken from her thoughts, and looked over at him. "Hey," he said, looking downcast, "I didn't mean it. Don't look so sad, please. We'll help you find him, right, Dad?" 

His stepfather was silent for a moment, watching her, and then his expression softened; she was once again forced to look away in pain at the familiarity of it. "Yes, we'll help. But, after everything that's happened today, we'll stay here and rest a while first." 

"But-" the Realian began uncertainly. There just wasn't time to rest, not when she could end up trapped here. She couldn't sense Zigg- _its_ presence nearby, but that didn't mean it wouldn't return. And if she slowed them down again 

"Let's just try to get some rest," Jan said firmly, leaning back against the curved stone of the tunnel entrance wall. "There's no looking for anyone at night, anyway." 

The boy sighed, making a noise of frustration and then reaching to pat Nex, who had lifted his head at the sound. "I can't sleep, Dad, not now. Hey, Dad," he perked up slightly, twisting to look at him, "can you tell us the rabbit story, then? Like Mom used to do. It's my favorite." 

Strangely, he looked rather uncomfortable at that, opening his mouth and then closing it again before looking away. One hand clenched into a fist and relaxed over and over again reflexively. "No, I don't think so. I'm sorry." 

"Ohh, come on! Pl_eee_ase?" he protested; the whine in his voice sounded genuinely upset, and the rose-haired girl cast him a concerned look. 

"I'm sorry, Nate," he repeated, a furrow forming between his brows. "I can't." 

Wanting to break the boy's resulting dejected silence, MOMO tentatively reached out and put her hand on his arm. "Hey, Nate," she began with a shaky smile, "I've never heard that story. Would _you_ tell it to me?" 

He ran his finger through the gravelly dust, drawing a little twisty line there. "Okay," he answered after a moment's deliberation, pulling his skinned knees up in front of him. "There once was this velvetin rabbit, right? I guess that's what it was made out of; this was a really, really long time ago so they didn't have rabbits made like Nex was." He grinned, petting the little dog, and, though Jan twitched at the mispronunciation, he made no move to correct it. 

"So," the child went on, "anyway, the rabbit lived in the boy's room and didn't do anything 'cause the boy had all these really cool toys, all new, and the boy had a horse too, it was a toy too but it was real old and when no one was around they would talk about stuff." 

MOMO nodded at this, chuckling softly at his enthusiasm. "The toys would talk?" 

"Uh-huh! And the horse knew a lot of stuff and so the rabbit asked him, 'what's Real? Is it like being a robot and stuff, and having lights, and talking?' and the horse said no. See, toys can't be made Real, they turn into Real with they're loved for a really, really long time, not just for playing with. 

"So, anyway, one night the boy got scared of the dark, and his mom found the rabbit in his room and gave it to him so he wasn't scared anymore. And after that, he slept there and got rolled on and hugged and squashed, and he couldn't talk to the horse because the boy was there. But he was all right after a while because he got to have fun with the boy and didn't just sit there anymore. 

"But 'cause the rabbit was velvetin and not plastic he started to get all worn out. And 'cause you couldn't replace the parts his mom was going to throw the rabbit out. But the boy cried and so she said all right, and gave it back and said he shouldn't cry over just a toy. And the boy said 'he's not a toy, he's real!' And the rabbit was happy because it had to be true since the boy said so. 

"And, um," Nate paused, frowning, "I don't remember. Oh yeah! So one time the boy took the rabbit outside to play but it was dinnertime and he forgot it outside. And it was getting late and the rabbit was waiting and suddenly he saw some real live rabbits! This was back when real rabbits actually lived outside!" He seemed amazed by the notion. "Anyway, the rabbits were playing and said 'why don't you play too?' and the velvetin rabbit wanted to play but he couldn't. And they came up and sniffed him and said 'you're not a real rabbit!' and he said 'I am too, the boy said so!' but they didn't believe him and then the boy came to get him and the rabbits ran away. 

"So, yeah, the rabbit and the boy played a lot and the rabbit started to look old but the boy didn't care or the rabbit either. And one day the boy got sick, and they didn't have medicine in the olden times to fix it. So the boy was sick for a long time and had to stay in bed and the rabbit stayed too until he got better. So when he got better they were going to go on a trip but they didn't know how to get rid of germs so they got rid of all the toys so they wouldn't have germs. And they put the rabbit there too and were going to burn it! And the boy didn't remember about him because he was going to go on a trip. So the rabbit was very sad. 

"But suddenly, a girl appeared! She was magic and she said she takes care of the toys, and when the kids don't need them anymore, she makes them Real! And the rabbit said 'the boy said I was Real before', and the girl said 'you were Real to him because he loved you, but now you will be Real to everyone' and she picked him up and made him into a real live rabbit, so now he could play with the rabbits outside! And, guess what, MOMO? I bet that's going to happen to Nex, don't you think?" Nate looked to her eagerly, wanting to see her reaction to his favorite story. However, upon seeing her face, his eyebrows knit together in worry. He leaned sideways, closer to her, uncomprehending. "Hey! MOMO, what's wrong?" 

"MOMO?" Jan echoed in alarm, sitting up from his pensive slouch. "What's-?" 

"My - daddy," she choked in response, quickly hiding her eyes behind her palms once more. Though she'd started out enjoying the story, as it went on she'd realized something "He told me - just like in the story - if I did good deeds - if I was good," she sniffled, her voice thick with tears, "then I could be real too-" 

He let out a hiss of breath, reaching gently to touch her hair, the soft pink fibers drifting through his fingers. The thought that someone could have told her that seemed to anger him, though he struggled to repress it. "You _are_," he told her, sounding so certain of it that her eyes welled up further. 

Human emotions, simulated to facilitate humans' work with Realians - but why did it feel so strong, the hurt so great? "No," she sobbed, "no, you don't understand!" Jan's arm curving around her, he pulled her against his chest, his torn uniform smelling of his blood, and she clung to him despite herself, shaking as she tried to repress her crying. Concerned, Nate knelt nearby, and she could feel his hand patting her shoulder now and again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't-" 

He shook his head, his hands soft and gentle and human, smoothing down her hair over and over again comfortingly. "No. Just go ahead and cry." Jan's voice grew softer then, sad and thoughtful. "Get it all out you'll need to be strong, soon. Too soon" 

It felt like a release, the tears draining of all the fear and uncertainty she'd been feeling in this world and the real one, and, all at once, MOMO felt that she knew just why humans cried. And, even if they _didn't _understand, there was comfort here, even in a world of memories as great as anything she had ever known. 

She was much calmer when she finally pulled out of the man's embrace, rubbing at her eyes as she shifted away. Looking rather awkward, Jan reached to rub at the back of his neck, glancing down to Nate and letting out a little sigh. "Please. Rest now." 

The silence that descended when they did as he asked was thick, almost like a blanket over them added to the nothingness of the memory-world outside. Unwilling to waste time in sleep, however, the Realian instead closed her eyes, doing her best to sense anything that might be out there. Normally, she would have found a map in her head, a diagram of the area they'd been through recorded in her mind, but there was nothing. It would be like trying to map the contents of a cloud 

Frowning, she thought back to all she had seen so far, all the two had been able to tell her about the thing after them, about this city. _The destroyed sectors the vanishing people a huge explosion_

_ 'It sounds ignorant, in this day and age, to say a place is cursed'_

_ It doesn't touch that one building_

"That building," she blurted out, scrubbing absently at her cheeks to wipe away the stickiness of the tearstains there. Nate jerked suddenly, startled, and Jan, slumped back against the curved wall of the ditch, immediately opened his eyes to look at her. "The one that Ziggurat - that _it_ hasn't destroyed. That's where he is, that's got to be where he is!" 

"Are you sure?" the policeman asked, his blue gaze perturbed. 

She nodded almost violently, grabbing up her Dragon Rod, scrambling out of the 'tunnel' and then springing to her feet; both he and the young boy followed soon after, taken aback by her sudden energy. "Please, Jan, you've got to take me there! I can't find the way in the dark like this!" 

"MOMO," Nate moaned, clutching at her sleeve, "don't go there, don't! We can't go in with you! Dad, don't take her there! Please!" 

Jan nodded unhappily, oddly enough for him looking at the ground, almost as if ashamed. "He's right," he said softly. "We can't go with you, MOMO; we can't enter there." 

"Jan!" she wailed, reaching out toward him insistently, closing her hands around his left arm, nearly hugging it to her. It should have been made of metal "But I have to! It's the only place he can be! I have to find him before-" 

He held up his other hand to stop her, and she immediately fell silent, staring up at his familiar face pleadingly but not letting go of him. "I I will take you to the door," Jan said finally, sighing in resignation, "but what you find inside, you must face alone." 

"I understand," she told him in a small voice, her chin tucked against her chest as she slowly released his arm; Nate next to her made a soft cry, shaking his head hard. "Thank you for everything you've done." 

_ 'Are you scared?'_

_ 'A little but I'm okay because you're here with me'_

She closed her eyes, her heart aching. _I'm coming, Ziggy - I'm here with you, too-_

"No, MOMO... I should thank you," Jan returned, a warm presence in the darkness of her vision, in the emptiness that surrounded her. "You are the brightest hope we've found. We've been struggling, holding on, for so long," he went on, his voice softening, "I wonder what it will be like to live here quietly once more." 

She flung her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly, burying her face against the stained fabric of his uniform. He knelt down to embrace her briefly, gently pressing his cheek against her hair. For a moment they were still, and then he stood up, patting her shoulder. 

She sniffled once more, wiping her eyes, and then nodded silently, following him as he started off again. Nate, a moment later, walked beside her, weeping quietly, his sticky hand fastening tightly around hers. 

MOMO didn't know what to say there was nothing she _could_ say. An expectant, waiting quiet filled the world around her, a breath drawn in and held forever. Finally, after a long walk through the still shadows, the street before her opened up to reveal the odd building, pristine and somehow looking taller than it actually was as they came to a stop a fair distance away from its front archway. 

Craning her head to see, the girl finally broke the silence, reluctantly letting go of Nate's hand. "There's a light on inside" 

"Yes." Jan frowned. "We can't go any further. I'm sorry." 

She nodded, swaying a little as she stared upward, bumping her toes against some of the debris littering the street. There was no door; instead, a large doorway loomed on street level, completely dark with no hint of what waited through the portal. "It's okay. You've done enough for me." 

"Please, MOMO. You belong here," Nate whispered near her ear. "You're like us. You were here to begin with-" 

"Nate," Jan cut in, his hand firmly on his stepson's shoulder, pulling him back a step. "She has to go." He shook his head, turning his gaze to her. "You'll be all right, MOMO," he told her quietly. "It - Ziggurat Eight - won't pass the door, either. It's almost as if it can't even see this place. You don't have to fear it coming for you." 

_But what do I have to fear instead of that?_ she asked silently. _Why won't _you_ pass the door, Jan?_ Instead of speaking, however, she nodded, putting on the smallest smile she'd ever managed. "Thank you." 

It was the hardest thing she'd ever made herself do, turning her back to them and facing the gaping doorway of the unassuming building ahead of her. Slowly, she took a step toward it, brows furrowing in a determined frown. She could do this, even if she didn't have her friends with her; she _would_ do this, and then she and Ziggy could go back to the real world and everything would be all right again. 

Taking another step, MOMO suddenly gasped and stumbled backward a bit as a wall of fire roared up between her and the doorway, its heat blasting her face. It was saying, in no uncertain terms, 'keep out'. 

Regaining her balance, she clasped her hands to her chest, refusing to even look behind her. She knew just what she'd see, anyway - a tall, blue-eyed man, pale in the low light, and a little boy beside him clutching a small almost-real dog their gazes of sadness and loss 

"Ziggy," she whispered, just barely aloud, "I'm sorry, but I have to. I'm sorry if it hurts you. But please you have to come back to us." She clenched her fists, closing golden Realian eyes against the dancing flicker of the flames. "You have to come back to me!" 

Taking a deep breath, MOMO leaped forward, diving directly into the wall of fire, the darkness of the open doorway gaping blackly on the other side, waiting 


End file.
